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The Big Issue recently published an article, citing research from the Salvation Army that up to 1 in 4 households who approach their local authority this December will be turned away and run the risk of rough sleeping. We know that despite promises from the government the housing crisis is growing, S21 hasn’t been abolished and demand for services is increasing and funding is stretched thin.
Working in this sector comes with its unique stressors which can feel amplified at Christmas as we see more people, or see the same people again. We listen to stories and offer what support we can, we make referrals to food banks and give out rucksacks, waterproofs, warm socks, tents, we top up energy meters, we negotiate with landlords, we bargain with temporary accommodation providers, we work late to ensure that everyone in need is provided with accommodation when the Severe Weather Emergency Protocol (SWEP) is triggered. We do this knowing that this isn’t going to resolve anything in the long term and that much of what we do is a sticking plaster.
Although these problems remain all year round, when every song on the radio is about family spending time together and the weather outside dips below freezing it can feel overwhelming to bear witness to the pain of the people we’re working with.
We’ve spent time at Matter South Yorkshire HQ thinking about our own experience of the work that we do, how we take that home at Christmas and how we balance that with the expectations and demands of others in our personal lives which can leave us struggling to feel jolly and joyous. We wanted to use this blog to mull over some of the ways that we can support those needing our services whilst still looking after ourselves.
Taking care of our service users at Christmas
What can we do for people accessing our services over the Christmas period?
Sometimes we might feel pulled to “be positive” in the face of overwhelming feelings, our own and those of the people we work with.
Unfortunately, this can often be experienced as dismissive or rejecting of someone’s pain. What might work better is leaning into their experience and demonstrating that you’ve heard them.
Taking the time to listen to why Christmas is a difficult time of year, what it reminds them of and what specific aspects can be most difficult. Once we’ve actively listened to a person’s narrative about Christmas, then we can begin to search for glimmers of a different story.
If someone hates being alone on Christmas day, but quite likes the festivities, are there other events locally they could get to. Could they benefit from a befriending service who might offer a telephone call or a warm space they can access for coffee and a chat?
If they don’t want to think about Christmas at all, what other things are accessible to them? How could they spend their time in a way which meets their needs? Do they have other interests you could look into and find some support for?
The people you’re working with might not celebrate Christmas - can we link them with faith groups or organisations providing non-christmas specific support?
Use the skills that you have to build positive relationships with your service users and be there after Christmas.
Taking care of ourselves at Christmas
Firstly let's acknowledge that we are living in a time where we are bombarded with information, everything we could ever need to know is right there at our fingertips, we get push notifications from every app urging us to spend our money and we are constantly reminded that we live in unprecedented times, with a cost of living crisis, an energy crisis, a humanitarian crisis, a housing crisis!
Tune into social media and see a never ending scroll of perfection. How to decorate for Christmas - should we do it the same as last year or buy more decorations? Did you buy enough presents, did you buy the right presents? Have you put on a big enough Christmas spread, supplied enough drinks, have enough variety, perfected your charcuterie board?
Do you have children? If so, I am sure you feel the extra pressure to make sure that the elf has done something hilarious overnight, that the advent calendars are ready, that you planned enough activities and that you did this whilst making sure you can pay your bills, fuel your car and heat your home.
Then comes the never ending stream of communication, it feels like someone needs a piece of you at all times, never mind within your working hours. Oh and surprise - you’re going to have to spend an extended period of time with that relative that you’ve never really liked and whose politics you really don’t agree with.
The festive period can also be a time where we think about traumatic events in our lives, those who are no longer with us, or those who might not be with us for much longer and we might feel waves of grief and sadness.
It can often feel conflicting to feel these feelings whilst reflecting back to that conversation you had or the cold weather survival pack you gave out. Whilst the problems that we face at Christmas may not be as complex, they are still valid and the combination of all these things will often cause us to feel stressed and exhausted. So how can we take care of ourselves?
Pause – take time for yourself. Just you. Away from the pressures of your family and the endless to do list, and away from the emotional load of your work.
We cannot pour from an empty cup. Use what you have at your disposal to refill, talk to your friends or colleagues, bring your thoughts to a reflective practice session, try a breathing exercise or use apps like Calm or HeadSpace.
Take a break from social media, curate your feed, remove permission for push notifications from apps.
Use boundaries in your personal life as well as your professional boundaries. Set them and stick to them. You don’t want to go to the office Christmas party? You don’t need to make an excuse, you can simply say no, thank you.
Eating and drinking can be really triggering at this time of year, snacking with abandon is encouraged, after all it is Christmas! Although most of us know that January will come with its suggestions of punishment. So try to listen to your body and not to those around you.
Prioritise what makes you happy. Throw gaudy tinsel on your tree, mismatch your decorations, volunteer, skip the family dinner and watch rubbish tele on your own, go out for a long walk or cook your favourite meal.
Remember that we are all feeling individual pressures and try to give others the same grace that we afford ourselves. You never know, prioritising your own happiness might empower others to do the same.
We hope that however you celebrate this festive period, that you come back ready to continue fighting in the New Year.
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